What is Sexology ?

Opening the Conversation about Sexology and Relationships

Sex is one of those things everyone has opinions about, most people experience in some way, and yet very few of us were actually taught how it works beyond biology class and a lot of awkward silence. That gap is exactly why I chose to dive into sexology and related fields.

I didn’t come to sexology because I had everything figured out. I came because I was curious, frustrated, and deeply aware that relationships, desire, pleasure, communication, and emotional safety shape our lives far more than we are taught to admit. Sexology gave me language, research, and tools for things people feel every day but rarely talk about openly.

The goal of this post is simple. To answer the question “what is sexology?”, to demystify the profession, and to invite curiosity rather than shame. Whether you are here because of personal questions, professional interest, or late-night Googling, you are welcome.

And maybe, just maybe, we can build a small corner of the internet where honest conversations about sexuality and relationships are not only allowed, but encouraged.

Understanding the History of Sexology

Sexology did not appear overnight, and it definitely did not start on Instagram.

As a scientific discipline, sexology emerged in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, at a time when sexuality was heavily moralised, pathologised, or simply ignored. Early pioneers like Richard von Krafft-Ebing, Havelock Ellis, and later Alfred Kinsey were among the first to study human sexual behaviour systematically rather than morally.

Kinsey’s research in the 1940s and 1950s, for example, challenged the idea that sexuality fit into neat categories. His work showed that human sexual behaviour exists on a spectrum, a concept that still shapes how we understand orientation and desire today.

Later figures like Masters and Johnson shifted the field toward physiology and sexual response, bringing evidence-based understanding to arousal, pleasure, and sexual functioning. More recently, sexology has expanded to include psychology, sociology, neuroscience, gender studies, trauma research, and public health.

What started as a controversial field is now a multidisciplinary science that recognises sexuality as a core part of being human. Modern sexual health education, consent frameworks, and therapeutic approaches all carry the fingerprints of this long and often uncomfortable history.

What Do They Talk About? Exploring Common Topics in Sexology

Sexology is not just about sex acts. It is about people.

Sexologists study sexual behaviour, orientation, identity, and desire across the lifespan. This includes how attraction forms, how identities develop, and how personal and relational experiences influence sexuality.

Relationships are a big part of the conversation. Communication, attachment styles, intimacy patterns, conflict, and emotional safety all shape sexual experiences far more than technique ever will.

Sexology also addresses sexual dysfunctions and health concerns, from pain during sex to low desire, erectile difficulties, and the impact of illness, medication, or hormonal changes. These topics are approached through evidence-based frameworks rather than blame or shame.

Culture and society matter too. Norms, religion, gender roles, stigma, and access to education all influence how people experience sexuality. Sexology looks at these systems critically, asking not “what’s wrong with you?” but “what happened around you?”

At the core of modern sexology are consent, pleasure, and emotional wellbeing. Not as bonuses, but as foundations of sexual health.

Clarifying Roles: Social Worker, Psychologist, Sex/Relationship Coach, and Sexologist

These titles often get mixed together, so let’s untangle them.

A social worker focuses on social systems, support networks, advocacy, and access to resources. In sexual health contexts, they may work with trauma, family systems, marginalised communities, and practical barriers affecting relationships.

A psychologist diagnoses and treats mental health conditions and may conduct research. When working with sexuality, psychologists often address anxiety, depression, trauma, compulsive behaviours, or relational distress from a clinical mental health perspective.

A sex or relationship coach is typically goal-oriented and future-focused. Coaching can help with communication skills, intimacy goals, confidence, and relationship satisfaction, without diagnosing or treating mental health disorders.

A sexologist is trained in the scientific study of sexuality. This often includes education, counselling, research literacy, and a multidisciplinary understanding of sexual health. Sexologists may work clinically, educationally, or in community settings, depending on their training and scope.

Which professional is right for you depends on your needs. Diagnosis and mental illness point toward psychology. Practical support and systems toward social work. Goals and growth toward coaching. Sexual education, complexity, and integration often fit best with a sexologist.

How Can I Find a Good Sexologist?

Not all sexologists are created equal, and that matters.

Look for clear credentials and specialised training in sexology or sexual health. Because the title is not regulated everywhere, transparency is key. A good sexologist will explain their background without defensiveness or buzzwords.

Recommendations from healthcare providers or trusted professionals can help, especially those who understand sexual health as part of overall wellbeing.

During an initial consultation, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel respected? Heard? Safe asking awkward questions? Ethics, boundaries, and consent should be visible in how they communicate, not just listed on a website.

Finally, good practitioners keep learning. Sexology evolves constantly, and ongoing professional development and community engagement are signs of a grounded, responsible practice.

The Perks of Seeing a Sexologist

Seeing a sexologist gives you access to evidence-based information without judgement or agenda.

You get personalised strategies that consider your body, emotions, relationships, and context, not generic advice pulled from pop culture.

It is a rare space where taboo topics are allowed to exist without embarrassment. Fantasies, fears, identity questions, relationship structures, all welcome.

Sexologists also support people navigating orientation, gender identity, non-monogamy, long-term relationships, and life transitions like parenthood or menopause.

Most importantly, sexology treats sexual health as integrated. Physical, emotional, relational, and social aspects are connected, not separated into silos.

Sexology Around the World

Sexology does not look the same everywhere.

Sex education, sexual norms, and acceptance vary widely across cultures. Some countries invest heavily in comprehensive sexual health education, while others rely on abstinence-based or fear-driven models.

Cultural context shapes both research and practice. What is considered normal, taboo, or healthy depends on history, religion, and social structure.

Countries like the Netherlands, Germany, and parts of Scandinavia have long been leaders in sexological research and education. Meanwhile, global collaborations are expanding conversations around gender diversity, sexual rights, and trauma-informed care.

The future of sexology is increasingly international, interdisciplinary, and aware of cultural nuance rather than one-size-fits-all answers.

Common Challenges Around Being a Sexologist

Being a sexologist is rewarding, meaningful, and at times… complicated.

There is still a lot of stigma around the profession. Many people assume sexology is either purely clinical or purely provocative, with very little in between. Explaining what you actually do can feel like a mini education session, whether you want it or not.

Ethical boundaries and confidentiality are central to the work. Conversations around sexuality are intimate by nature, which means sexologists must hold very clear professional frameworks while remaining deeply human and approachable.

There is also emotional labour. Supporting people through shame, trauma, identity questions, relational pain, or long-held silence requires presence, regulation, and strong supervision. You cannot rush this work, and you cannot fake it either.

In my personal opinion, being a sexologist is also highly political, especially in this day and age. Sexuality does not exist in a vacuum. Conversations around gender equality, sexual rights, bodily autonomy, queer identities, reproductive health, and consent are constantly shaped by what is happening socially, culturally, and globally. Choosing to work in sexual health often means standing for values, even when they are uncomfortable or contested.

Balancing scientific rigour with empathy is essential. Evidence matters. Research matters. But so does meeting people where they are, without superiority or judgement.

And finally, advocating for sexual health often means pushing back against silence, misinformation, and institutional resistance. Progress is slow, nonlinear, and worth it.

My Practice: What Are My Specialties?

My practice is rooted in both academic training and real-world human experience.

I studied a Bachelor of Arts degree in Sexology in Montreal (UQAM), one of the few universities in the world that offers comprehensive academic training in this field. This education gave me a strong foundation in the scientific, psychological, social, and cultural dimensions of sexuality.

My focus areas include women’s sexual health, working with men, relationship dynamics, emotional safety, sexual confidence, and identity exploration. I also facilitate educational workshops on essential topics for the community, from communication and consent to pleasure, self-esteem, sensuality and menopause. I regularly participate as a guest speaker in panels and community discussions, because sexual health belongs outside therapy rooms too.

My work is deeply rooted in education. I believe that when people understand themselves better, shame starts to loosen its grip. Knowledge does not remove complexity, but it does remove the idea that something is “wrong” with you.

My practice is based on compassion, inclusivity, and a deep respect for the fact that everyone comes with their own story around sexuality and relationships. There is no universal timeline, no correct desire, and no single way to love or connect.

Some of my most meaningful moments as a sexologist come from clients realising they are not abnormal. That what they are experiencing, questioning, wanting, or desiring is actually very human and far more common than they were led to believe. Those moments matter. They change how people carry themselves in the world.

The Future of My Practice: Creating a Platform for Open Dialogue

I want to be honest here. I have many ideas, many projects, and many desires for this work, and I am still figuring out my place in this digital world. And yes, it can feel overwhelming.

We are surrounded by content, opinions, and loud certainty. I do not want to add more noise. I want to create something grounded, thoughtful, and real. A space where honesty matters more than perfection, humility more than authority, and humour is allowed to exist alongside depth.

My vision is to build a digital platform that feels human. A place where sexuality and relationships are discussed with nuance, evidence, and warmth. This includes articles, videos, workshops, Q&A spaces, and community-based conversations that feel accessible rather than intimidating.

I am deeply interested in bridging science with lived experience. Translating research into language that actually makes sense in people’s day-to-day lives. Talking about sex and relationships in a way that feels intelligent without being cold, and light without being dismissive.

This practice will evolve, because I am evolving too. I am committed to listening, learning, and adjusting as research grows and communities speak. I do not want to pretend I have all the answers. I want to ask better questions, alongside others.

Needing You: Let’s Build a Community Where We Can Talk Freely

This part matters to me a lot.

I am currently working on a project to create discussion circles, spaces where people can come together and talk freely about subjects that are still taboo for so many. Sex, desire, boundaries, long-term relationships, resentment, pleasure, identity, communication, disappointment, curiosity. All of it.

These will be safe, well-regulated conversations, guided with care and respect. Spaces where shame is gently shown the door, and people are allowed to speak without being fixed, judged, or rushed.

My utopia is simple, and maybe ambitious. I want people to experience healthy, honest, open communication about sexuality and relationships. With their partners, yes, but also with friends, family, and themselves.

I want fewer people suffering in silence. Fewer miserable relationships maintained out of fear or ignorance. More curiosity. More accountability. More emotional safety.

Community matters because we do not heal or grow alone. Collective learning, shared stories, and respectful dialogue are powerful tools for change.

If this resonates with you, you are already part of it. Ask questions. Share reflections. Stay curious. Let’s build something where relationships and sexuality are no longer sources of shame, but spaces of understanding, connection, and care.

Want to Go Further?

If this article sparked curiosity, you might enjoy exploring other blog posts on relationships, self-esteem, and emotional safety. Each one dives deeper into the real-life side of sexual wellbeing.

Wanna know more? Have a look at the Sexual Wellbeing, Self-Esteem & Emotional Safety page to see how these pieces connect in practice.

You can also subscribe to the newsletter for ongoing reflections, research-based insights, and upcoming resources. Or, if you prefer human connection right away, you are welcome to book a free call to see if working together feels like a good fit.

Curiosity is always a good place to start.

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